Dixie’s Kongfidential Quest

I never did get to talk about the quick end to the new “Monday Night Wars,” but I don’t think I had much to say about it anyway. I still contend that TNA’s side did start off well, but quickly fell back into mediocrity and apparently lost the interest of most Monday night viewers. But the return to Thursdays was back in May, and I want to be more recent and relevant than that. In June, Dixie Carter (the TNA Wrestling president, not the recently deceased Designing Woman) began talking about some huge secret thing that would “change TNA on every level.” Not that I’m calling her a liar, but I have a hard time believing that any one thing or person is capable of swooping in and saving TNA anymore. Except maybe Paul Heyman, but apparently it’s bigger than him. What the hell could it be, then!?

(Also, I realize this is probably my worst headline yet, but that’s exactly why I had to use it.)

The news sites report that it’s not the ECW reunion show either, which wouldn’t make much sense anyway. So that leaves… what? I get the impression that this is supposed to be bigger than bringing in Hulk Hogan and Eric Bischoff — the only people who were ever able to dent Vince McMahon’s empire, and they needed Ted Turner’s money to do it. But the combination of Hogan, Bischoff, and money hasn’t done much for TNA thus far. So if it’s a person, who could it be? I can’t think of anyone whose name value alone is bigger than Hulk Hogan’s, but I suppose there are a few people with similarly notable popularity.

Shawn Michaels, Steve Austin, The Rock, and Goldberg all seem happy as they are, and all but Goldberg still have positive ties to WWE. Macho Man might be a contender, except for the fact that he just signed a toy deal with WWE. Bryan Danielson’s WWE release was announced roughly twelve hours after Dixie Carter first tweeted about the surprise, so even if he were considered big enough (doubtful), the timing is questionable at best. I don’t think the Ultimate Warrior is really considered big enough either, and I have a hard time imagining that TNA would want him, or vice versa. And then there’s WWE current roster, but it seems highly unlikely that TNA could woo the likes of the Undertaker, John Cena, Triple H, Randy Orton, Edge, or any of their other mega stars away from their generous contracts.

I didn’t think of this until after I’d written the opening paragraph (yay stream of consciousness), but one person I do think is possible is Shane McMahon. If he wanted to work in the wrestling business outside of his father’s shadow, TNA would be the perfect opportunity for him. And for TNA’s sake, he’d bring 20 years of valuable behind-the-scenes experience. Not to mention all the investment dollars he has at his disposal. But I believe he may still be a shareholder for WWE, which could cause a conflict of interest, but I don’t know the legalities of that sort of thing. There’s also the fact that he’s stated he wants to do something with his life besides wrestling, so this would assume that he either lied back then, or that Ms. Carter managed to change his mind. If this were true, though, I definitely think Shane would be a far greater asset than any on-screen talent, and his business expertise is the only thing that could possibly overshadow the possibility of Paul Heyman having complete creative control.

But there’s also the possibility that the surprise isn’t really a person either, even though this tweet suggests it might be. Maybe it’s some sort of new television or distribution deal. Maybe they’re going to move out of the Impact Zone to a place that they can charge admission for. I’ve actually been to the Impact Zone a couple times (including the taping of their first two hour episode, in fact), and even though admission is free, trying to get into the show is a bit frustrating compared to reserving tickets ahead of time and having a guaranteed seat. Going to Universal Studios is kind of a pain, too. So I know I would love it if they went somewhere else, and I can’t be the only one who’d be willing to pay admission for a better viewing experience. But I’m getting off-topic.

Anyway, I obviously don’t know what the surprise is. I’ll find out when the rest of the world does. But assuming it’s not a load of empty hype, it is an interesting mystery. Much more so than WWE’s “anonymous general manager” or whatever the hell that (on-screen) storyline is. I guess my vote/hope is for Shane McMahon, but they need to seal the deal with Paul Heyman, too.


Categories: Contemplation, Pro Wrestling

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