This might be my longest post thus far, which is both a testament to my love for this show, and a reminder that I should put more effort into more coherent, important writing. These six episodes happen to be up on The CW’s site at the moment, so you should go watch them, and then come back and read my thoughts, because I spoiled all the things.

3-6: How Much Is That Liam in the Window

• Oh, Oscar, you are the worst person and you ruined everything. Poor sexually uninhibited Laurel.
• Yay, Dixon is finally honest! But now it’s too late.
• What’s up with this girl stalking Liam? I guess it’s nice that she got her mom to save him from the creepy topless man store. I expected the lady to be some cougar that wanted him for a man-slave.
• Wow, Debbie is awesome with the way she’s been sassing Jen without fear of getting fired.
• Oh, Adrianna. Is she even old enough to go topless legally? She sure doesn’t act like it. Dump that girl, Navid.
• Oh snap, Jen found out about Mr. Cannon. Now it’s on. And yay, Mr. Matthews is finally stepping up!
• Man, Charlie is getting creepy. What the hell is up with those scars? Obviously all of this is going to be related to “the incident,” but augh, all the possibilities until they finally reveal it! Maybe Charlie’s mom went nuts and sliced them up over that credit card thing?

3-7: I See London, I See France

• And Liam’s stalker girl (Laura?) continues to be creepy. Now he’s involved with and indebted to a drug dealer, just like that one time.
• It was pretty obvious that porn was going to be where Navid knew that girl from, but I wasn’t quite expecting the underage thing, since the entire school seems to be 18 already.
• I was really hoping Oscar would leave, but it seems like they’re trying to redeem him now, and it almost might be working for me. I mean, I am very intrigued by the idea of Naomi smacking him around, figuratively or otherwise.
• This annoying honor roll girl makes me think, “Andrea addicted to sugar cookies.” But it was nice what Navid did for her. (Seriously, give him more non-Adrianna plots!)
• I am happy that Naomi and Mr. Matthews have teamed up to wreck Mr. Cannon’s shit, but it’s sad that Mr. Matthews is suspended, though it wouldn’t make sense for him to go unpunished.
• Man, Silver is being so cold to Teddy. I suspect she’ll lighten up when she finally finds out what happened, but by then it won’t matter, as far as their romance is concerned. It seems like they’re hinting towards her hooking up with Navid, and I think they’d be a perfect couple.
• Finally, Ivy fesses up, and everything is re-ruined. But Dixon really needs to calm down, since it was partly his fault for lying and fake-dumping her in the first place.
• Is Mr. Cannon really gone forever!? Like Naomi, I’m glad he’s gone, but not glad he didn’t get his shit wrecked.
• Damn, Teddy, you need to chill out. Car accidents won’t get Prop 19 passed!

3-8: Mother Dearest

• What a deceptive, teasing opening. I blame Annie.
• Aww yeah, Dixon punched Oscar. I’ve been waiting weeks for that. But he’s being way too cold to Ivy.
• Poor Jen really got humbled at that mother event thing. It made me so sad when Jacques fell. And I couldn’t believe Jen left, but I should have seen it coming when she gave Naomi her keys.
• This girlfriend/divorce thing with the Wilsons makes me wish Harry would come back as a guest star. Poor Debbie.
• Man, this thing with Navid and his dad is harsh. Are they building up to Navid going middle class?
• It’s nice that Adrianna is stepping up to her manager, but I still really want Navid to dump her. True story: I had never heard of the Jonas Brothers until South Park did an episode about them.
• I was almost starting to like Oscar, but I was stoked when Naomi and Ivy owned his ass.
• Silver all dolled up like a porn actress is just… damn. Silver and Navid would be so perfect together.

3-9: They’re Playing Her Song

• Yay, Ivy is becoming a girl friend.
• Aaaaaa, Navid and Silver would be so perfect together.
• I was starting to get hints of Ryan and Debbie hooking up, but I didn’t expect them to go that far so soon! And why isn’t Debbie the nanny? Does she run the beach club now? That new nanny sucks, so maybe she will take over.
• Yeesh, Navid’s dad. Are they going to lose all their money now?
• God damn, Adrianna really needs to get dumped. This is also becoming very similar to the end of Naomi and Liam’s relationship, where she was too caught up in her own crap and he ended up confiding in another, more attentive girl.
• Geez, Charlie’s roommates suck. The dreaded college know-it-alls. It almost makes me sympathetic for Annie’s accidental show. And I’m not sure I entirely believe that story of Charlie’s.
• Augh, Dixon, give up on that snotty waitress and get back with Ivy.
• Damn, Teddy decided to try going to a gay bar already? At least it’s nice that he and Ian might actually be friends now.

3-10: Best Lei’d Plans

• Eeeeee, Navid slept over. Augh, they’re getting so close.
• I guess Teddy is still in denial, but he makes a good point about all the girls he’s been with. It seemed like Silver was getting suspicious, but it turned out she almost wants him back!? But it looks like Ian and Teddy might be a thing after all!
• Yeeee, Debbie and Ryan are cute. What the hell, they’re putting her on a dating site? Not that it matters, because aaaaa Debbie and Ryan in the bathroom!
• Oh no, Naomi has to learn to surf. Or not. So much for that.
• Welp, Liam made a girl cry. But what the hell, dealing drugs to impress a guy? As soon as I saw Dax I knew he was gonna kill Liam.
• Poor Laurel. Damn you Oscar for ruining everything. But at least he’s trying. And maybe he and Naomi would be good after all.
• Oh shit, is Navid finally gonna dump Adrianna’s diva ass? Damn right she’s been so self-absorbed. Augh, how could she ask Silver for help. So cruel.

3-11: Holiday Madness

• Adrianna bought a giant house. What the shit. Is she even old enough to own property? And what about her mother? But man, she even made Victor look sympathetic. I’m really glad it all blew up in her face.
• Yessss Silver and Navid are finally a thing!
• Ivy and her dad instantly made me think of Kelly’s dad, and it turns out my suspicions weren’t very far off. But at least she’s made up with Laurel finally!
• Yay, Teddy and Ian are going to be a thing! But it will be a while before they’re open about it, unless Dixon starts blabbing…!?
• What happened with Liam staying at Laura’s house? God damnit Liam, why aren’t you over Annie? And god damnit Annie, how could you cheat on Charlie with his brother? Now Charlie is probably going to slice both of them up.
• I’m glad Naomi and Ivy are staying friends, and I guess Oscar doesn’t deserve a real relationship yet. But aaaaaa who’s going to save her from Mr. Cannon. What a mean cliffhanger!

Tags: 90210

Categories: Ramble, Television

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